The Mortality Quiz


1. Are you male or female?
Male.
Female.
2. What is your religion?
Christian.
Other.
3. What sort of career do you pursue?
Raise a family.
Become a merchant.
Become a bandit.
Strive to enter the upper class.
4. Do you travel?
The wars give me an excuse to travel.
Only to avoid jealous suitors.
The crusades give me an excuse to travel.
I stay near my home.
5. You hold some religious convictions that are controversial.
Practice them anyway.
Try to change the beliefs of the mainstream.
Hide your views.
Go on a personal quest to find spiritual happiness.
6. The king needs soldiers and is conscripting the peasants.
Encourage one of your sons to go.
Volunteer.
Claim your religious convictions make you unfit for battle.
Flee to Norway.
7. Your visit to the cathedral goes awry when the cathedral is besieged by a local lord.
Sneak out the back.
Engage the lord in battle.
Pretend to be a friar.
Wait for the siege to end.
8. You are imprisoned for a crime you did not commit.
Admit to the crime and ask for mercy.
Get to know the other prisoners.
Try to kill yourself.
Wait for justice to prevail.
9. The knights are going on a crusade.
Become a squire to a knight who is favored at court.
Become a squire and go to the Holy Lands immediately.
Become a squire and learn to ride and fight.
Wave to the knights when they leave.
10. The peasants rebel with the assistance of several nobles.
Join the peasants.
Pledge support for the king.
Join the revolting nobles.
You stay uninvolved, except for the occasional debate at the local tavern.
11. You inherit a lot of money.
Divide it among your children.
Take it to a bank.
Enjoy it while you can.
Travel throughout the world.
12. You go hunting in the king's forest and are caught.
I would never hunt in the king's forest.
I'd kill myself before any guard could catch me.
Steal one of the guard's horses and ride away!
Admit it -- you needed the food.
13. You are accused of witchcraft.
Go to trial, knowing you will be declared innocent.
Leave town.
Say the devil made you do it.
Say Jesus made you do it.
14. You are knighted for your deeds, but must swear fealty to the idiot king.
Refuse.
Seduce the king's heir, and use the seduction to blackmail the king.
Agree.
Flee the country.
15. A powerful friend offers you a job in the clergy.
Use the job for political gain.
Refuse, telling your friend you disagree with his religious beliefs.
Agree, and try to reconcile your beliefs with those of the church.
Refuse. Try to find some other way to make money.
16. You accompany an army that besieges the Turks in Jerusalem.
Bravely fight for king and country.
Sneak back to the camp.
Sneak into Jerusalem.
Question the nobility of war.
17. The local sheriff orders your arrest.
Draw your blade to fight the guards.
Flee the country.
Turn yourself in and try to prove your innocence.
Cite your impeccable religious character as proof of your innocence.
18. It's time to celebrate your 60th birthday.
Ride down to the local bar and get drunk.
Visit the local brothel.
Stay home.
Stay home and get drunk.
19. Your children are squabbling over your will.
Give them the property now to shut them up.
Leave the country.
Kill them.
Change your will to make them happy.
20. Your funds are coming up short, and you won't be able to pay your debts before you die.
Struggle to find money.
Flee the country.
Steal.
Find a religious cause that can get you money.
21. You are dying. What is your one regret?
That you never told the king that you think he's a fool.
That you don't have a better title to leave your heirs.
That you didn't learn to be a better swordsman.
That you never visited Italy.